You are definitely NOT the only person to think this way. When I was teaching and directing high school theater, I chose a play that dealt with the issue of keeping Dad's ashes on the mantle. The children chastised Mom for her Sunday morning activity of placing a cup of coffee and a Danish next to the urn. At one point, she demands that her children bring Dad's ashes outside and place them on the picnic table for their picnic. It takes the whole play for the children to understand the importance of their mother's actions.